Back from sunny London, NOT! the only thing hot about London was most of it was in flames.
London town is burning down, burning down, burning down
London town is burning down all night long!
We were not staying far from one of the hot spots so we were huddled in a corner in our room, armed with exploding eggs, vicious vegetables and a mean ass skipping rope! I thought there was no hope for us so i got on my knees and pleaded to be saved.. Then suddenly I heard a voice, was my prays being answered? I could hardly hear over the breaking glass, the screaming bobbys and the laughing looters BUT then I heard him, my savior, he sounded so loud, like he was right next to me. I will never forget what he said to me that night..
" Son, I see you on your knees asking for my help, so give me 5 sets of 12-15 push ups and 3 sets of 60sec planks you fat bastard"
"Yes sir Patrick sir"
The Patrick is everywhere.
I have finally figured out the idea behind PCP, PCP is pre-looting training! I felt like i was Daniel-son when he finally figures out what wax on and wax off were actually good for in the real world. Patrick has been training us to LOOT! Thank you Mr Patrick Myiagi.
I used the Kung Fu situps to kick down doors, I used the showoff to give the pigs the finger, standing ovation to smash skulls together, thumbs up to carry my loot, plank to form a bridge for my fellow looters, creeps to move through the burning shops, floor jumps to trample on anyone who got in my way, shoulder press for holding up collapsing doorways, pull ups to climb to higher levels and when i couldn't get past the 1st fuking floor then i used shoulder flys to rip open elevator doors, lawnmower to yank goods from other looters, pull downs to bring down store stands or anything bolted down even fellow looters and when i was kicked to the ground i would use the bicycle to fend off the pigs for minutes i tell you. I was even in the right gear, trackys, trainers and a hoody, I was born to loot! It was always in me, Patrick just chiseled off the rough edges. I felt like Neo in the Matrix, you know the point when he realises that he is the baddest Mofo on this planet. It was kickass time! Although I was breaking into all the food stores more than anything, clearly I wasn't driven by cuts in Uni aids but more by my cravings. Which was a good thing coz the only reason i didn't get nicked was because i ate all the evidence.
Now back to reality..
London was fun and the shopping was GREAT, plenty of fire sales and five finger discounts.. ok ok ill stop i promise. Stuck to the the diet as i didn't eat anything off the plan but i just couldn't do the the meals, was very difficult to organise my daily snacks etc but ended up eating nothing or snacking on fruits and some nuts. I did the skipping everyday which was nice to do on a nice crisp English morning with every neighbour staring at me while they stuffing their piehole with endless snags, black pudding, hash browns, and more beans they u can hoot. I dont think the Engligh workout that much coz teh Gyms were in terrrible condition there and tehy were all Fitness Firstones too, I guess that why they call is "The land of the Double Ds". Eating healthy wasn't easy and finding organic foods was even harder. Never ate out once when i was out and about as most places were processed palaces so I just nibbled on my nuts the whole day.. batta boom, here all week gang. I now look forward to the Olympics.
Looting for Englaaaland, Engerrrrrrrrrlaaaaaand!
