Sept 1st, Charity Night at Solas in HK!

My wife Annabelle is working for these guys now and her first job seems to be getting me FUBARed. Come join me for my first drink in 3mths and to boot, I’ll be bartending “Cocktails & Dreams" style although it may end up Coyote very ugly.. . Not sure if that’s a good combo but it’s the bosses idea so its a win win for me, I think!

I’ll be free pouring from 8.30 – 9.15, if I’m still standing, that is!  We have an impressive and aggressive Bar team who are kind enough to devote their time to serve for a good cause from across the financial industry. Bartenders like Chuck "No body’s meaner than" Wiemer, Kitty Kat Rose, Manny "somebody pass me a Strepsil" Scolamiero, Arjun " I’m NOT 12 " Menon, Kim "Queen of Bling" Arculli (You all know who the King is!), John "My hairdo is not from 90210" Tompkins, Mad Murray Holdgate, Amy Yu know who , George  “The Mexican” Molina and of course me Arnie “Sir Mixalot” Singaram, that’s right, this baby’s got back or used to anyway.

The line up gets serving from 6.30pm onwards so see you all there drinking for a good cause of course!

WAX ON WAX OFF

Back from sunny London, NOT! the only thing hot about London was most of it was in flames.
London town is burning down, burning down, burning down
London town is burning down all night long!
We were not staying far from one of the hot spots so we were huddled in a corner in our room, armed with exploding eggs, vicious vegetables and a mean ass skipping rope! I thought there was no hope for us so i got on my knees and pleaded to be saved.. Then suddenly I heard a voice, was my prays being answered? I could hardly hear over the breaking glass, the screaming bobbys and the laughing looters BUT then I heard him, my savior, he sounded so loud, like he was right next to me. I will never forget what he said to me that night..
" Son, I see you on your knees asking for my help, so give me 5 sets of 12-15 push ups and 3 sets of 60sec planks you fat bastard"
"Yes sir Patrick sir"
The Patrick is everywhere.
I have finally figured out the idea behind PCP, PCP is pre-looting training! I felt like i was Daniel-son when he finally figures out what wax on and wax off  were actually good for in the real world. Patrick has been training us to LOOT! Thank you Mr Patrick Myiagi.
I used the Kung Fu situps to kick down doors, I used the showoff to give the pigs the finger, standing ovation to smash skulls together, thumbs up to carry my loot, plank to form a bridge for my fellow looters, creeps to move through the burning shops, floor jumps to trample on anyone who got in my way, shoulder press for holding up collapsing doorways, pull ups to climb to higher levels and when i couldn't get past the 1st fuking floor then i used shoulder flys to rip open elevator doors, lawnmower to yank goods from other looters, pull downs to bring down store stands or anything bolted down even fellow looters and when i was kicked to the ground i would use the bicycle to fend off the pigs for minutes i tell you. I was even in the right gear, trackys, trainers and a hoody, I was born to loot! It was always in me, Patrick just chiseled off the rough edges. I felt like Neo in the Matrix, you know the point when he realises that he is the baddest Mofo on this planet. It was kickass time! Although I was breaking into all the food stores more than anything, clearly I wasn't driven by cuts in Uni aids but more by my cravings. Which was a good thing coz the only reason i didn't get nicked was because i ate all the evidence.
Now back to reality..
London was fun and the shopping was GREAT, plenty of fire sales and five finger discounts.. ok ok ill stop i promise. Stuck to the the diet as i didn't eat anything off the plan but i just couldn't do the the meals, was very difficult to organise my daily snacks etc but ended up eating nothing or snacking on fruits and some nuts. I did the skipping everyday which was nice to do on a nice crisp English morning with every neighbour staring at me while they stuffing their piehole with endless snags, black pudding, hash browns, and more beans they u can hoot. I dont think the Engligh workout that much coz teh Gyms were in terrrible condition there and tehy were all Fitness Firstones too, I guess that why they call is "The land of the Double Ds". Eating healthy wasn't easy and finding organic foods was even harder. Never ate out once when i was out and about as most places were processed palaces so I just nibbled on my nuts the whole day.. batta boom, here all week gang. I now look forward to the Olympics.
Looting for Englaaaland, Engerrrrrrrrrlaaaaaand!

8 MIN SEX

Don't google this PCPeople but this should certainly be on Patricks to do list. Definitely best done when the kids are asleep and if your a screamer than a muzzle will suffice. It's so easy even a monkey can do it.
First find a firm surface, then put your partner between the firm surface and yourself and begin. Start with 15-18 reps then pause for 20sec rest, 20sec rest means 20sec not 30sec PCPeople, otherwise your muscle will loose its pump and you won't feel the burn and will end up feeling deflated. Now continue these reps and hit that muscle for a further 5 sets, remember to keep that muscle tensed throughout exercise. On the 5th set continue your reps till failure, trust me doing this will leave you feeling very satisfied. If the burn gets too hot to handle then use 1 egg white between sets.
Now remember PCPeople, 8min might be too much for beginners at first so if this is new to you then work your way up to this level. There is alot of 2min PCPeople out there but dont worry, we all had to start somewhere. For those who can not perform for the full 8mins and peak too early then use the skipping rope between sets to stimulate your peak condition or your partner could use it to whip you back into shape, whatever turns you on.
For further motivation, use a mirror to watch yourself doing each rep to make sure your hitting the right spot so you can reach maximum peak performance.
Also if you have time, 8min foreplay is a great warm up before 8min sex but if you don't, than try the 2min Quicky. Try it and see how you go, why not even blog about it?

My Shaka Zulu is back baby!!

I won't be needing this anymore!!

To skip, protect and uphold PCP Law, till death to us part!

Morning all, Just when i was feeling invincible I have gone and hurt myself. So frustrating as I have been more motivated than ever before. How did i hurt myself? Fukin chin ups!!! over strained my self and damaged some muscle between my neck and my right shoulder. So I cant do anything without yelping like a cry baby. Just call me Murphy as I'm moving around like Robocop now, can picture Patrick saying "Dead or alive, your doing your skipping punk" Instead of working for OCP, I'm working for PCP with my prime directives being :
1. Serve the Patrick
2. No carbs after 12pm
3. Uphold PCP law

Your mission if you choose to accept is to continue PCP or else, if you choose not to accept this mission then your belt will self destruct in 5 seconds. Instead of skipping to "Party Rock, Everybody Shuffling" think I should be skipping to the theme song of Mission impossible. It does feel like to me there is nothing else other than PCP, to stay focused and missing one day, missing one exercise, one meal, one set, one carb, one skip, makes me feel terribly guilty. I do not want to plateau, stop the progress I've had or go backwards in any way.

So far I am very happy with my progress, Ive gone from 105kg to 96kg, 44"waist to a 38", resting heart rate from 80 ish to now 60ish, from 50 skips a minute to 190 skips per minute (that's my PB so far). Also rediscovering my old wardrobe has been extremely rewarding, like being able to wear clothing I've haven't worn in 8 years, in some instances, clothing I have never been able to wear. Clothes with their tags still on it (the ones I was saving for rainy slimmer day) that I can wear no problem now. The problem is that the fashion 8 years ago is somewhat different to fashion now.. As my wife puts it, that may fit you now but we wouldn't be married if I met you in that shirt. Who would have thought that a pink, green and brown shirt will ever go out of fashion?

Just one to many pulls up for RoboCop to handle..

"I'm the Foot Fuking master"

There goes my fruit snack... gezz its like  a POW camp after lunch.. Nice breaky, awesome lunch than
pow.. back in solitary confinement for you, u grostest, disfigured calorie whore!!!
In formation solider.."YES DRILL SARGENT SIR"
You will sleep when I tell you to sleep,
you will exercise when I tell you to exercise,
you will eat when I tell you to eat and
you will shit God damit when I tell you to shit! Is that clear you carrot sucking maggot?
"YES DRILL SARGENT SIR"

And the skipping... followed by squats, pistol squats, lunges and floor jumps.. geez.. I may be an Aussie but I'm certainly not a bloody Kangaroo..Foot massages are a god sent, feet met like smelly butter in my hands.

ahhh.. what a vent!. feel much better now.. going to lick my empty lunch plate again now.. and my photos will go up this weekend I promise, just need to get the back , crack and sack wax first!

And I can picture Patrick standing on the balcony of the Vatican, preaching the below...from the angriest man in the world, Samuel L Jackson...say what one more time motherfuker!

'The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides with the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of fat men. Blessed is he who in the name of PCP and good will shepherd the fat through the valley of darkness, calories and all things fun, for he is truly his brother's PCPkeeper and the finder of lost children and pistol squats. And I will strike down upon those with great vengeance and with furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my PCP brothers. And you will know that my name as the Patrick when I lay my vengeance upon thee.'

NOW.....I said skip biatch or else!!!!

A NEW DAWN

Congrats to Nick Silver & Andrew Reeves and all the oher PCPers who have finished their PCP. I assume there will be many light weight drunks stumbling around HK the next few days. You guys did well, stayed strong, committed throughout and all better for it now. BUT all good things have to come to an end, So we unleash you out there into the cruel calorie filled world like our forefathers did, that to hope for one day, you will return to us. Sure some of you might not make it back but thats the sacrifice we all have to make so only the strong will survive. Go out there little ones and make plenty of PCP children, spread our seeds far and wide, so our family can grow big and strong. We will be everywhere, we will conquer all, it will be the PCP way or the highway and we will take no prisoners!, The weak will be consumed by the strong, obviously dividing them into carbs, veges and protiens first.. The sun has risen in a new world for you, good luck my friends, I'll see you on the side..mooHAha MoooHAha MoooHAha MooHAha (Dr Evil laugh)